


Being Colin Creevey

by WaysOfSeeing



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bottom Colin Creevey, Bullying, Coming Out, First Kiss, First Time, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt Colin, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Rare Pairing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-01 15:20:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18802987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaysOfSeeing/pseuds/WaysOfSeeing
Summary: -The whole school thinks Colin Creevey is in love with Harry Potter.He isn't.-The whole school thinks Cedric Diggory is a ladies man.He isn't.





	1. Chapter 1

Colin Creevey was doing his best to stay calm. It was his first day at Hogwarts and, being from a muggle family, his knowledge of magic was very limited. He betted there were a lot of kids who already knew many things about the subject. It was going to be difficult to catch up for sure.  
He stood next to the train after the incredible and exciting experience of going through a wall. His father seemed shaken as well, he too had never even known such things were possible.  
There were many other kids at the station, some younger some older, all getting ready to go get into the carriages. Martin Creevey knelt in front of his 11 year old son to look him in the eyes. He seemed to be sad but at the same time excited for the boy.  
“Gonna miss you, kid.”  
“Me too.” It was true that he was indeed going to miss him back but, at the same time, he just wanted to leave and start the new adventure.  
“You have everything with you? Clothes, books uh… wand?”  
Colin nodded quickly, his smile almost ripping his skin. “And camera!” He pointed to the bag on his left side, his excitement was through the roof. “I’m gonna take so many pictures! Then I can show them to you! You will see the school, my new friends, my teachers…”  
Martin’s lips curled upwards in a heartwarming action and the man threw his arms around his son. It was a long lasting hug this one. When it was over the boy laughed nervously and ran towards the train, waving to his father before getting in.

Walking through a wall had been strange yes, but nothing compared to the peculiar looking, moving and talking hat that was on top of his head at that moment.  
“Where should I put you?” The hat said slowly as he thought. “Ravenclaw perhaps? No no, not Ravenclaw.” It laughed joyfully. “And definitely not Slytherin! Imagine that, this little lad in Slytherin, wouldn’t last a day.”  
Colin could feel his heart pumping rapidly agains’t his chest. The hat’s final decision was on it’s way.  
“Yes! Of course, of course! So obvious! Why did I took so long… I must be terribly tired. Yes, that must be it. So many students… every year, the same thing. Where to put this one, where to put that one…”  
The boy was getting impatient now. Why was the hat taking so…  
“Relax, boy! There’s no need to rush things!” It exclaimed loudly, making Colin feel even more nervous than he already was. “Fine, fine. Gryffindor! There you go! Now scram, there are others to select.”  
Gryffindor… That’s Harry Potter’s house, isn’t it? The boy had heard about him, he was a legend! Wow… He might not have known what it exactly meant, being a Gryffindor that is, but the sandy blond felt excitement run through him as he sat down next to the cheering scarlet and gold crowd.


	2. Chapter 2

“Go away, Colin.” Harry Potter was not in the mood for Colin Creevey at that moment. Lunch was precious to Harry, just like any other meal, and he wanted to enjoy it with his friends not some overenthusiastic 14 year old who had been stalking him since second year.  
“I was just wondering if I could seat here, Harry. There’s not many room available and I thought…”  
“Go away.” Harry groaned, repeating the words into the air as he letted his head fall onto his arms during the process, frustration clouding his judgement.  
“You heard him, Creevey. Piss off.” Ron Weasley was soon to intervene, he too had been a witness to Colin’s obsessive behaviour towards his friend.  
“But… I have nowhere to sit.” The short boy didn’t have any friends. He wasn’t what a person would refer to as “popular” around Hogwarts. Being chummy with Colin meant being a loser.  
“Not our problem.” The redhead took a spoon full of soup into his mouth and turned to Hermione. Harry followed. Colin was ignored.  
The lonesome boy looked around the Great Hall, hoping to find a spot. The Gryffindor table was packed and the cramped places that were still available were, unfortunately for him, next to students who he definitely knew would spit him out in an instant. The Slytherin table had space but there was no away he was going to sit there, they would shred him to pieces. He thought about the Ravenclaws but dismissed that thought when he found their table to be like the Gryffindor’s. There was only Hufflepuff left. Colin searched the table from the distance and there it was, an opening.  
The boy’s steps were quick, he needed to reach his goal before anyone else took the seat. When he got there, he acted fast, he sat in a quick motion, not bothering to ask for permission. Colin was about to fill his plate when, unfortunately, somebody chose to comment his arrival. Meals were always a torturous event for the boy.  
“Hey, faggot!” A piece of potato was thrown his way. Colin chose to ignore the action, earning another slur. “Didn’t you hear me, shirtlifter? I’m talking to you.”  
The blond filled his plate with rice, he was not going to answer such rudeness.  
“Hey!” He was pushed roughly, his body almost slipping from the stool. Colin did not know the name of his tormentor, he seemed to be a sixth year, also, he had a spot of gravy on his left cheek, something that amused him. “What gives you the right to seat with us, freak? Did Potter turn you down again? Boo hoo, little Colin Creevey can’t get Harry Potter to put his cock up his ass, how sad. You should try a dildo, maybe then you’ll stop begging for it.”  
“Bloody hell, Kev. Shut the fuck up.” The tall Hufflepuff on Colin’s left spoke. The blond had yet to notice his presence. It was Cedric Diggory, wonder boy Cedric Diggory, and did he just tell his friend to…  
“What? You’re defending him? He’s a cocksucker!”  
“And you’re an idiot. Now eat and stop talking. He didn’t do any harm.”  
Colin couldn’t help but stare at his defender, who surprisingly, when noticing his gaze, released a small smile in response before returning to his plate. Cedric Diggory had just smiled at Colin Creevey. The word “weird.” replaying in the sandy blond’s head. This was to be the first of many.

Colin stared at the frog in front of him. The students were supposed to turn it into a goblet. The boy frowned, staring thoroughly at the animal. It wasn’t supposedly a difficult spell to cast but the Gryffindor often had difficulty pronouncing the required words correctly.  
“Verta Verto!” He said the syllables one by one, repeating Mcgonagall’s words or, at least, how he had heard them.  
The frog ended up transforming into a horrifying small beast. Colin jumped from his seat, widening his eyes in fright. His colleagues laughed teasingly at his reaction.  
“Mr. Creevey, sit down! You are disturbing the other…” His teacher stopped her speech as she noticed the result of his incantation. “Oh my…” Mcgonagall then sighed and approached the boy.  
Colin looked up at the woman, swallowing and refusing to stare at the monster on top of his desk.  
“Vera Verto, mr. Creevey, Vera Verto.” She said the words slowly so the sandy blond could catch them correctly.  
“Vera Verto.” The Gryffindor attempted to cast the spell once more, succeeding this time even though his voice was small and shy. The mutated frog finally had turned into the desired object. “Thank you, professor.”  
“Please make sure to listen next time, mr. Creevey.”  
Colin nodded quickly as he tried to ignore the whispered taunts from his classmates.  
The class ended soon after. The boy gathered his books, regretting not having brought a bag, his small arms lacked the strength to carry so much weight. As he left through the door, he was quickly pushed by the rough touch of a Slytherin, the objects unavoidably falling.  
“Hey!” He couldn’t help but protest. “You pushed me!”  
His tormentor turned towards him, his friends were soon to follow. “And what are you gonna do about it, twink?” The two boys by his side laughed at the slur.  
“I…” Of course, Colin did not know how to respond to the other. He had never been good at confrontation.  
“Thought so.”  
The three “amigos” left, leaving the boy to gather his books in silence.  
Colin Creevey was used to being picked on. The most common insult: the word “fag”. Everybody thought he was madly in love with The Boy Who Lived but that wasn’t true, he just admired him. If Colin were to have a hero, it would be Harry Potter. But he didn’t want to snog him. The boy had thought about that possibility once, only to shudder at the idea. Yes, Colin Creevey was not, in fact, infatuated with Potter, he just wanted to be his friend, for him to be a part of the crazily dangerous adventures Harry and his two friends often went on. The blond was a Gryffindor. Shouldn’t he get to explore his supposed “braveness”? Well, maybe he wasn’t brave, maybe he had been sorted into the wrong house. Maybe he was a Ravenclaw or a Hufflepuff, a Slytherin he wasn’t for sure though. He sighed at the thought and walked straight towards the library. Colin still had a bit of time until the next class but he sure wasn’t going to spend it on the Courtyard, looking at other students chatting happily with their friends. 

Reaching the library was a fairly easy task in the blond’s mind. He just had to walk with his head low and avoid looking at other students, especially Slytherins. What he wasn’t expecting though was another slam.  
“Bloody hell…” Colin went down to pick up his books once more. He couldn’t believe someone had bumped into him on purpose again, couldn’t people give him a rest?  
“I’m sorry!” The boy was not expecting this. The person had just apologize. And it was a male voice! Guys were his main tormentors, girls usually just ignored his presence.  
Colin was on his way to look up when the other knelt in an attempt to help him gather the objects that had fallen. It was Cedric Diggory.  
“Uh…” The sandy blond’s heart was pumping fast. The question was: why? Maybe it was just because he was surprised by the other’s actions, yes, maybe that’s what it was.  
“I got a bit distracted. Didn’t mean to hit you. Sorry about that.” Cedric said as he extended the last book towards Colin, who grabbed it, his face still expressing shock. “You’re a little bit red there. You ok?”  
Red? The boy’s face was feeling rather hot, that was true, he hadn’t thought of its colour though. How embarrassing, he was blushing.  
“Yeah.” Colin nodded, his speech quick and soft.  
“Good.” Diggory smiled widely, his teeth were perfect as it was expected. “Cedric.” He then extended his hand for a shake. Colin’s arms were full, he noticed that fact shortly after his action. “Oh sorry.” The tall boy laughed, reaching to run his fingers through his own hair. He had nice hair too.  
“I… I know who you are. You got chosen for the Triwizard Tournament.” Who could forget Cedric Diggory, the great promise of Hogwarts, the most likely winner of the great Tournament.  
“Oh yeah, that. I was just lucky I guess.” His hand had yet to leave his hair. “I don’t know your name though. I just know the Creevey part.”  
“It’s Colin.” His words were quick, the boy was nervous.  
“Nice to meet you, Colin.” And there it was again, that spectacularly perfect white smile.  
How would it feel to kiss Cedric Diggory? Colin’s thoughts were soon to travel to unwanted places. The boy shook them away. Why was he thinking about that? He wasn’t gay. He…  
“I should go.” The Hufflepuff said, his smile transforming into a small friendly one. He was already on his way when he stopped his steps, turning back towards the shorter boy. “Glad we bumped, Colin.” Then Cedric was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back!

Colin and Dennis Creevey used to be close. Two brothers united by more than blood. It was safe to say that they used to be each other’s best friend. They talked about everything, nothing hidden between them. That was in the past though. Dennis had friends now, friends that did not include his brother. Colin knew his unpopularity had been the cause of such a change. The younger boy did not want to share such a condition and, luckily for him, he didn’t. Even at home, they did not talk much to each other. This had broken Colin’s heart, never he had felt such loneliness after his own brother deserted him, ignored him like everyone else.   
The older boy sighed as he looked at Dennis chatting happily with his friends. He didn’t have any of his own and that was something that bothered him immensely, even though he would never admit it. He called himself a lone-wolf, unbothered by loneliness, this, of course, being a lie.  
Colin’s gaze left his target as he moved towards the library, the only place he was safe from others. On his way though, there was something that caught his eye, Cedric Diggory being awfully chummy with a Ravenclaw called Cho Chang. She was a beautiful girl, there was no doubt about that, it wasn’t difficult to understand what Cedric saw in her. They would probably get married one day and have astonishing good looking children. This did not please Colin. He hoped the two of them wouldn’t get together. But, as that thought passed through his mind, a kiss was shared between the pair. Cedric’s hand was now resting on the girl’s cheek, their lips meeting in a gentle motion. She was smiling and so was the boy. Colin felt his heart drop. Why was this bothering him so much? Could it be that he was actually starting to have a crush on the boy? He wasn’t gay. The rumors were not true. Yes, he had never truly liked a girl but he was young, it was perfectly normal not to have been in love before. The sandy blond felt panic rush through him. The other students couldn’t be right. They were though, weren’t they? He felt attracted to Cedric Diggory. He wanted to experience kissing him, spending time with him, holding hands, being by his side. Was this just curiosity? Or something deeper?   
Colin ran, changing his destination. There was only one place he would be safe from stares, the girl’s bathroom on the second floor.  
The boy paced along the room, his hands resting on his hair, pulling, as tears ran down his cheeks.   
“A boy crying… in my bathroom.”  
Colin’s head turned in the transparent girl’s direction. It was funny how her presence didn’t truly bother him. He sometimes came here to relax, to breathe from time to time. He could say she had sort of become his confidant. That was sad, wasn’t it?  
“Hey, Myrtle.” His voice was small.  
“Did something happen? Are the other boys teasing you again?” The girl let her head fall to the right, the gesture filled with curiosity.  
“It’s not that.”  
“Oh… would you like to share? I’m a great listener, you know?” There was teasing in her voice, Colin didn’t care about that though.  
“You won’t tell anyone, will you?”  
“Me? Sharing a secret?”  
“Please, Myrtle.” A sob was begging to leave Colin’s lips.  
Moaning Myrtle released a giggle. It wasn’t the right thing to do, not at that moment at least. “Harry Potter is handsome. I’ve heard things. You like him.” She sang the last phrase, finishing with a smile and: “I like him too.”  
“I don’t like Harry Potter!” Colin shouted angrily, he was sick of that rumor. Harry hated him because of that irritating lie and so did everyone else. “I…” He spoke lower, almost in a whisper now. “I think I like Cedric Diggory.”  
“Cedric Diggory!” Myrtle twirled in the air, stopping suddenly, she had become extraordinarily close to the boy’s face. “He is handsome, isn’t he?” She sighed and got away, sitting, or seeming to, on top of the sink in front of him. “It’s ok, Colin. Many girls do. He is wonderful, good at so many things and so charming.” The girl prolonged the “so”.   
“He’s dating Cho Chang.” Colin’s voice had yet to increase in volume.  
“The asian one?”   
“Yeah.”  
“Well, she is pretty. Saw her once, was able to frighten her deadly.” She laughed, recalling past events. “They do make a perfect couple.”   
The last sentence that left the ghost girl’s mouth was true. They were perfect together.   
Colin turned his eyes away from his uh… “friend”, facing down. “I don’t want to like him, Myrtle. I don’t wanna be gay.”  
“You are though. What they say about you is true. You’re…”  
“Shut up! And don’t you dare to say I like Harry Potter again!”  
“Fine! Wasn’t going to say that anyway.”  
The boy sighed in defeat, regretting ever having shared his troubles with Moaning Myrtle. 

Cedric Diggory kissed his girlfriend. She was smiling widely, definitely pleased with how things had turned out between them.   
“We could go to my room.” Cho said in a whisper.  
The boy swallowed, stuttering between words. “And uh… how would I ever get into your dorm?”   
“You just have to follow me.” The girl’s voice had a seductive tone as she moved in for another kiss. Cedric closed his eyes, however his thoughts were anything but directed to the action.   
He often thought about his relationship with Cho. It was relatively new for him this kind of thing. He had kissed girls before of course, but actually dating them was a different thing. He had always been known as a bit of a heartbreaker around Hogwarts. What could he say? He had never found a girl that interested him enough. Truth be told, he had never found a girl that he had actually enjoyed kissing. This situation was not that exciting for him. It actually scared him. He had a girlfriend and he didn’t even like her that much, not in that way at least. Cho Chang was great, she was intelligent, fun, extremely pretty… why didn’t he feel anything then? Is this how it’s supposed to be? No, it can’t be. Then why would people want sex and romance so much? Cedric thought about his sexuality from time to time, he knew he liked… he often had fantasies about boys when masturbating, leaving an immense sense of guilty with him afterwards. Of course he would never share that with anyone. He was Hogwarts golden boy, he needed to fit the package, no matter what. He NEEDED to like women.  
“Cedric?” The girl was looking at him strangely, her eyebrows furrowed. “You ok?”  
“Uh… yeah.” He smiled shortly after, in an attempt to discard his previous thoughts, kissing her hungrily, something that made Cho giggle in delight.  
“Somebody’s eager.”  
“Wanna go then?” His words were quick and nervous. He didn’t truly want to go with her. He never had sex before, which was probably surprising to some and her speech told him she had a bit of experience, something he clearly didn’t.   
The girl grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the desired location, it wasn’t long for them to be alone in a room that felt rather uncomfortable for the golden boy.   
Cho pulled Cedric by the neck, her lips glued to his as she directed him towards herself and onto the bed underneath them. They fell towards the mattress shortly after. The boy’s heart moved crazily in his chest, he could barely breathe. This wasn’t good. He didn’t want this. He wasn’t ready, especially for the following action. She had just put her hand down his pants and was undoubtedly trying to jerk him off. He couldn’t get it up though.   
“Cedric?” Cho Chang was not expecting the lack of reaction. Why wasn’t Cedric hard? She had been working at it for a while. This never happened to the girl before. “You’re not…”  
“What?” Cedric felt a shiver ran through his spine, he could feel panic approaching. He knew he wasn’t responding the way he should, maybe it was because his nerves had gotten the better of him. Yes, that was it, nothing else.   
“I thought you liked me.” Her voice was small, disappointment filled.  
“I… I do.” Did he really though? “I’m nervous, that’s all.” Was he trying to convince her of that or himself?  
Cho didn’t seem to believe him. What were the girl’s thoughts? Cedric ended up moving for another kiss, a rough one. He wanted to prove her he wanted this. She did not like his action though.   
“Cedric, stop!” The girl pushed him away, the boy’s eyes were wet, she could definitely tell he was freaking out. “You can’t just grab me like that!” Cho was freaking out a bit herself.  
“Sorry, I…” A sob fell from his lips, his body shaking as he cried. He stepped away, removing himself from the other body, and sat on the mattress, his arms covering his face. He felt a mix of embarrassment and desperation.  
“Cedric.” The Ravenclaw placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder, something that ended up worsening his state, the cries grew louder.  
“I wanted… I… I’m sorry… this is not… The Tournament… I’m… And…”   
Cho was not understanding Cedric’s speech, he was just throwing words around. “Cedric.” She repeated.  
The words then left the boy’s mouth without him thinking about their consequences. In fact, he had only realize their presence after they were released. “I don’t want to be gay, Cho.”  
“What?” This definitely caught the girl by surprise, that had been the last thing that was on her mind at that moment. Did her boyfriend just confess…  
“Nothing!” Cedric jumped from the bed. Now he was indeed panicking. He couldn’t look at her, this… all of this was too much for him to handle. “I didn’t mean it! That’s not what…”  
“Cedric, you’re…” She was about to declare something he was not ready to hear.  
“Shut up!” The boy was now shouting. “You don’t know anything! Just shut up!” He knew he was being harsh on the girl, it wasn’t her fault he was…  
“I’m trying to help!” The girl was now raising her voice as well.  
“I don’t need help!”  
“Cedric!” This shout was loud. “Listen for a moment!!!” That seemed to finally calm him down. “I’m not here to judge you. It’s ok that… I can’t say that I’m not, well, disappointed but it’s not something to be ashamed of, you don’t need to hide who you are.”  
“But I’m not…” He was in too deep for her to believe what he was attempting to say.  
“Don’t lie to me.”  
There was silence for a few seconds, the boy’s broken voice breaking it. “Are you going to tell?”  
“No.”  
Another pause. “Thank you.”  
“We should break up though.”  
Cedric laughed at that. “I guess… Friends?”  
Cho smiled in response. “Friends.”


End file.
